One of those is based on a true story.
RPI kids/alums might see what I’ve introduced with this. Everyone else will see it soon enough.
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September 7th, 2009
136 – Crime Bulletins
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Damn Squirrels… I knew they were trouble.
Wait, shit. I fed the squirrel our lab-synthesized sugars. They were only sliiightly radioactively tagged…..
Hey shush’m’up! I was recycling!!
Okay, they all sound like they could’ve happened. And they’re all hilarious.
Mutant Alby?!
I’ve had all three happen at my university, none of these seem unlikely. Although, to be fair, it was a two-tailed rodent, not a a squirrel in particular.
(and to add to my note after I already posted: Yes, even the burnt orange juice. It was kept in a microwave that the roommate did not look in until after a weird smell accompanied the popcorn. Okay, maybe it was burnt cardboard container, but still! I could also add a couple dozen items to the list?)
My dorm will be completely free of anything burnt. I be an awesome chef.
Burnt OJ?! That’s one HECK of a cooking accident XD also, too chase down a guy on a BMX bike, tackle him to the floor and hold him down til the cops show up? WIN!
I noticed Ilium get mentioned a few times. Did you name EIT’s home town after the cafe downtown in Troy?
(My other guess about what I’m supposed to be noticing is the reference to Alby the Albino Squirrel)
Hints on The Naming of Ilium, from most to least subtle.
Hint #1: Vonnegut is one of my favorite authors.
Hint #2: Take a look into the history of “Ilium” and you’ll easily spot why I picked the name.
Hint #3: Next time you get a chance, take a look at the giant seal on the side of the RPI footbridge, if you’re walking south on 15th St. from the Union.
No naked guy with a t-shirt on his head? Or was that before your time?
last year at my school the fire department was called when the alarms went off from burnt popcorn. Not too interesting until you take into account the fact that it used to be a finishing school for girls. one of the major classes was cooking back in the day.
So #1 was based on a real IB report from the poly -> it was also featured in a RPI Players performance.
#2 is also based on an IB report I’m fairly certain.
What you forgot was the 2 to 13 young males one of whom was wearing a blue coat, or the guy who was assaulted with a snow ball.
#1 was based on a series of IB’s in a prank Poly. #2 was the real one, based on a crime report (though it was probably also in the Blotter).
The “2-7 males between 12 and 17” one was a close second for the #2 slot, but I went for the epic win instead of the epic fail. I don’t quite remember the snowball one, though…
…did Kali feed the squirrel her toast after she burnt it?
XD
Hmm… comic 17?
I love the ‘Campus Safety Tip from Public Safety’ on #2.